The Joy of Being Retired
                                                   365 Reasons Why Retirement Rocks — and Work Sucks!

Home Introduction Retirement Rocks Retirement Cruising for Unconventional Retirees Funky Retirement Resources Contact





The Joy of Being Retired

365 Reasons Why Retirement Rocks —and Work Sucks!

by Ernie J. Zelinski

Retirement - The Joy of Being Retired

 Purchase The Joy of Being Retired at:

The Joy of Being Retired on

The Joy of Being Retired on


25 Reasons Why Retirement Rocks
— and Work Sucks

from the book

The Joy of Being Retired

 retirement resources image

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #1:  Retirement allows you to pursue your first love which is living life to the fullest! A truly satisfying and happy retirement includes interesting leisure activities, creative pursuits, physical well-being, mental well-being, a defined sense of purpose, and a great sense of community.

Why Retirement Roks — Reason #7: Here is the typical “worker’s dilemma”: No matter how much you do, you will never have done enough. Of course, what you have done is never “good” enough. Furthermore, what you didn’t do due to a lack of time is always more important than what you did do. The act of early retirement solves this unrelenting and dejecting dilemma.

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #13: Working long hours can sometimes be rewarding, without doubt, but so can goofing off and enjoying life. As they say in Spain, “How nice it is to do nothing all day and then rest afterward.” Clearly, hard work doesn’t lead to happiness. If hard work guaranteed happiness, over 90 percent of all Americans would be truly happy. Surprisingly, psychologists and psychiatrists say that only about 20 percent of the total population is happy.

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #18 : Perhaps at work you were a fly stuck in a thick tar of despair and to lots of post-it notes. The gross incompetence of your co-workers hung heavily in the air like the cold stench of a bunch of dead fish. Even more than your co-workers, you longed for the comfort of a grave. Eventually your job convinced you that work life was a stale joke with absolutely no punch line. This situation may not have given rise to the level of an international crisis — but it did carry an extreme amount of stress and emotional damage. Viva la retirement!

  Retirement Wishes Image #23A

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #27: You can now preach the shortcomings of the work ethic and proclaim to the world — as the great philosopher Bertrand Russell once did — that “the morality of work is the morality of slaves and the world has no need for more slavery.” Fact is, hard work is the best thing ever invented for killing time – as well as you. The secret to a happy life is to work as hard as you have to for a comfortable living — and as little as you can get away with.

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #33: You can now have that tattoo made that simply says “Work Sucks — and Retirement Rocks!” Many Millennials, Generation Xers, and even working Baby Boomers will be so envious of you. Do you think that you are too old for a tattoo? London’s top tattooists, some who can boast waiting lists of more than two years, now report seeing almost as many 40-80-somethings as they do Millennials. And guess what? The majority of their clients are women.

 Retirement Letter for School Principals Image

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #21: Your brain, after being brainwashed by corporate culture for so long, just may be jarred into new ways of creative thinking. Indeed, new perspectives on living are usually fostered when people have more time to reflect and reassess the true meaning of life. Life’s Secret Handbook suggests, “You may want to be known for your spirit, your creativity, and the difference you make in this world. To be nimble-witted, street smart, and spiritually aware is to abreast of the advanced and magical workings of the universe.”

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #35: You can finally find the time needed to write a scathing exposé of that ruthless bastard-of-a-rat boss for whom you used to have to work. Also, no more of that fat guy in the stupid-looking suit getting all the credit for the great creative work that you did.

Retirement Wishes Image 322V

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #45: You get to toot your own horn about the benefits of retirement. There are many. One of the most important benefits is the freedom to do what you want. A 2016 Merrill Lynch study found that 92 percent of retirees said that retirement has given them much greater freedom and flexibility to pursue their own interests, irrespective of how much money they have saved.

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #50: You can finally find the time to learn how to play a musical instrument of your choice. Learning to play an instrument increases the capacity of your memory, enhances your coordination, exposes you to cultural history, sharpens your concentration, fosters your self-expression, reduces stress, and promotes happiness in your life and for those people around you.

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #59: As a retired woman, you have all the time in the world to join the Red Hat Society (RHS). The RHS is comprised of women from all walks of life who are committed to joyful living, growing, exploring new interests, having fun, and meeting new friends.


Wishes for Retirement Image A

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #63: Truth be told, work kills more than war. Approximately two million workers die annually due to occupational injuries and illnesses, according to a United Nations report. This is more than double the figure for deaths from warfare (650,000 deaths per year). If you like to toy with death, work is okay. If not, retirement is the only intelligent alternative.

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #72: Being retired affords you the time to learn how to make something truly artistic and beautiful with your hands, even if this means painting a computer keyboard. Recall Abraham Maslow, the American psychologist and a co-founder of humanistic psychology who developed a hierarchical model of human motivation, in which a higher need, ultimately one for self-actualization, is expressed only after lower needs are fulfilled. Maslow rightfully observed, “A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he [she] is to be ultimately at peace with himself [herself].”

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #76: No more of the multi-tasking that was imposed on you at your workplace. In 2009 Clifford Nass, a professor at Stanford University, set out to find out how well so-called “multitaskers” multitasked. After an extensive study he found that “High multitaskers are suckers for irrelevancy,” along with “Multitaskers were just lousy at everything.” As Steve Uzzell pointed out, “Multitasking is merely the opportunity to screw up more than one thing at a time.” Fortunately, once you retire you don’t have to indulge in this craziness called “workplace multi-tasking” anymore.

Retirement Parties Image #3A  

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #82: Retirement gives you all the time in the world to engage in the art of conversation. If you are negative, you can talk endlessly to others about life, certainly about how it is pointless, the cruelty of man, and the stupidity of all politicians. On the other hand, if you are a Pollyanna, you can talk forever and a day about non-duality, how the time is coming soon when we will all have shed our egos, we will all have a divine unity with each other, and we will all love Donald Trump, while Donald at the same time will have nothing but great things to say about each of us (except about me, of course).

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #111: There will be many days when you think that retirement is one big-time cosmic joke. It is! So what? Work was even a bigger cosmic joke. Have a good laugh — compliments of the universe!

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #119: As many retirees finally get to do, you get to add “world traveler” to your bio. Lucius Annaeus Seneca (known simply as Seneca) was a Roman philosopher, dramatist, statesman, and one of the most eminent writers of the Silver Age of Latin literature. Even back in the first century AD during which he lived, he recognized the value of travel by pointing out that “Travel and change of place impart new vigor to the mind.”

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #122: If you have developed some serious work related ailment, such as a back injury, sick building illness, repetitive stress injuries, or a constant migraine headache, retirement allows you the extra relaxation time required for using “belief-based healing.” National Geographic in its December 2016 issue reported on the power of belief-based healing in an interesting article titled Unlocking the Healing Power of You. Retirement is the ideal time to heal yourself holistically because there is a lot less stress in your life than when you are working.

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #138: Some unknown retiree claimed, “I used to have dreams that I died at my desk. Now that I have retired and am collecting Social Security, I don't have those dreams anymore.” The earlier you retire, the longer you get to collect your Social Security or other pension payments, taking as much money as you can out of the system. Those “heroes” who keep on working into their seventies, still paying into the system, thinking they are going to live to be ninety or a hundred, are the ones most likely to die on the job, collecting nothing.

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #153: Studs Terkel, a noted oral historian and radio broadcaster, in 1974 penned his classic book Working that investigates the meaning of work for different people under different circumstances. In a later book called The Great Divide Terkel cites American worker Isabelle Kuprin who talked about her job: “I’m a copywriter for an ad agency. It involves being a total asshole. I do it for the money, it’s easy and horrible. I do nothing good for society.” If you feel the same way about your job as Isabelle Kruprin did about hers, the great news is that once you retire you don’t have to be an asshole anymore. What’s more, you won’t have to read the book Asshole No More because being fully retired will help you to accomplish this gracefully.

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #164: You have much more time to spend with your grandchildren and share the stories that were your favorites when you were a kid. Better still, on the Internet check out Time magazine’s 100 BEST CHILDREN’S BOOKS OF ALL TIME starting with Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak in the Number 1 spot. Once you get started, you may want to read all 100 to your grandchildren.

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #179: No more having to learn the ropes of a difficult job. In fact, almost half of new hires say that “learning the ropes” is the most challenging part of starting a new job. Unfortunately, there’s no legally-defined window when you are absolutely safe if your performance is not up to par. In the U.S. you can be fired at any time for any legal reason, “even on your second day of work,” business law attorney and employment law guru Beth Robinson told the website Moneyish.

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #288: The Sufi poet Jalaluddin Rumi once wrote that even Jesus fled from the fool, saying, “I can make the blind see, the deaf hear, the lame run and raise the dead, but I cannot turn the fool away from his folly.” That being the case, it’s wise to flee any workplace that has a lot of fools working there, particularly those who are indecisive whiners, incompetent bimbos, and lazy goof-offs. Retirement is the ideal way of doing this.

Retirement Activities Image

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #294: Life’s Secret Handbook states, “Death often comes at a bad time.” By retiring early, you don’t have to tempt fate and die working. British writer W. Somerset Maugham’s last words reportedly were, “Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.” Sure, you can’t avoid dying — but you may be able to put it off for many years if you retire early.

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #336: Retirement is the time to put to use all the information from the world’s best retirement books. Google “best retirement books” to find out which ones they are.

Why Retirement Rocks — Reason #345: when you were applying for your last job, the company’s buzzwords were like symphony music to your unemployed ears. Based on what you were told, the company culture resembled Paradise. The employees’ days were full of laughter, hugging, and working in the spirit of cooperation. What’s more, the company's major goal was to make the world a better place for humanity. At the same time you were supposed to rapidly climb the corporate ladder and attain success and prosperity that others only dream of. In striking contrast, you soon realized that your company strongly believed in pulverizing its competition and then jacking up its prices to take any advantage of its customers. The company won contracts by intentionally underbidding. Then it closed the profit shortfall by doing extra shoddy work and grossly overcharging for upgrades. The only reason the company wasn’t declared a criminal organization was because it was too hard to prove. Furthermore, your company didn’t believe in paying taxes. Its extraordinary profits went toward making the shareholders even richer. Meanwhile your co-workers and you were stuck in the middle of the corporate ladder, being grossly underpaid, and living a life that had been stripped of all purpose and meaning. The good news is that retirement came to the rescue.

Funny Retirement Poem - Song


   The World's Best Retirement Book by Ernie Zelinski

Over 400,000 Copies Sold

Retirement Book

Published in 10 Languages

How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free  Will Ensure That You Are Prepared for Retirement When You Leave the Workplace for Good! 

Review of How to Retire Happy, Wild and Free

If you want to earn your retirement karma points while discovering . . .

  • The Secrets to an Effortless, Happy Retirement

  • The Secrets to Having Everything You Want in Retirement

retirement gift book by Ernie Zelinski 

Make the most important investment that you can make for your retirement right now:

  Purchase How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free  Today: Logo Click Here to Purchase on 

Copyright © 2022 by Ernie J. Zelinski

Author of The World's Best Retirement Book






Recession Book for the Retired Image



Purchase How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free on with these direct links:

How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free on


How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free on B&



Recession Book - #A1



Purchase The Joy of Not Working on with this direct link:

The Joy of Not Working on



Career Book Image


Purchase The Joy of Being Retired directly through these links:

The Joy of Being Retired on


The Joy of Being Retired on